Waiting On Him: Marli's Story

Marli's Story
http://purposelyathome.blogspot.com/

The day was November 23rd, my 10th birthday. I remembered the night well. A special night had been planned for me, just me! Mom and Dad had reserved the evening for the three of us to have dinner at a elaborate restaurant, while my brother and sister stayed with my grandparents. I anticipated the evening with enthusiasm!

After arriving at the restaurant, Mom and Dad began talking to me about remaining pure as I waited on my prince charming. They had also suggested, as I was growing older, my first kiss would be a special gift. They encouraged me to save that kiss for my husband on our wedding day.

At one moment during the dinner, I remember asking my mom for a Tylenol. She told me, “Okay, you can get it out of my purse.” I looked in her purse and there it was lying among the other purse items, a tiny wrapped package. I looked at Mom and Dad. They were both smiling. After confirming that the gift was for me, I pulled it out and opened the small package.

It was a little ring box which contained the most beautiful, gold ring displaying a petite diamond on top. I was pleasantly surprised. Mom and Dad told me this ring would become a symbol of our evening together, representing the promise I had made to them and to my future husband. It would become a constant reminder that I was to protect the unique and irreplaceable gifts God had given me - that were intended for my husband, and him only, on my wedding day.

I have been blessed to live in a Christian home my entire life. This was not the first time I had a conversation with my parents about purity. I have always acknowledged that saving my first kiss would further delay the sexual act and help prevent the hasty giving of myself emotionally to a guy.

It makes me sad to think that in today’s world that so many young ladies are not virgins anymore. When others see my purity ring and ask what it symbolizes, I consider it a privilege to explain to them the promises that I am keeping. Some find it shocking and hard to believe. But, I look forward to the day that I can present myself to my husband as an anticipated “unwrapped gift.”
   
Another representation of my purity ring is in the area of my relationships with guys. I have made the commitment to replace dating with old-fashioned courting. Courting isn’t a bad word, it is actually a very safe word. My definition of courting is getting to know someone in the company of family or friends. This is another principle that I adopted in my teen years.

I want my parents involved 100 % in the process of me choosing a mate. Many of my friends’ parents do not even know who their children are associating with, much less, dating. I don’t want that to be my circumstance. I want it to be a family affair, even with the brother and sister involved. It can actually be a lot of fun! Having an older brother who is courting has given me a positive view of what it can be like. I have also come to realize how important boundaries are in a relationship. I have read numerous stories of courtships. Most courtships are adapted to their personal expectations, but most happily choose the safety of physical boundaries and getting to know each other within a family setting versus being alone in a dating situation.

One of my greatest struggles is remaining content as I wait for my special someone. Handing the pen over to Christ and allowing Him to script my love story is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. As I watch other couples walking hand-in-hand, I occasionally feel discouraged. However, I constantly remind myself that God has the perfect love story planned for me. In my opinion, shuffling from guy to guy just for the sake of companionship would not be part of His perfect plan.

So, what’s a girl to do? Taking advantage of this phase in our lives to be an encouragement to our male friends in the faith, would be beneficial to all those involved. As I treat them as my brothers, “with all purity,” I can strengthen them spiritually and display to them characteristics of a true female friendship(1 Timothy 5:1, 2). The characteristics of flirtatious girls are described in Proverbs 7. This type of conduct should be avoided, as it creates hardships on our guy friends to remain pure gentlemen. As we adopt the practice of building our male friends up in their everyday accomplishments, instead of seeking them as a potential mate, they will appreciate our chaste behavior. If our actions are mature in dealing with our guy friends, the more respectful they will treat us.

It may seem difficult remaining pure and spotless in a polluted world, but we can be the one who goes against the flow. We should not be bashful about reclaiming a commitment to purity. Saving your special kiss, allowing your parents to guide you through a healthy relationship and treating guys with brotherly kindness will persuade others to demonstrate a more perfect Christian walk. I pray that we all can live a life of purity…with no regrets.

Have a testimony to share about how God is writing your love story?
Want to encourage others to wait on His timing?

Share it with us by emailing it to: thekingsbride@ymail.com

Waiting For You

Back in 2009, two friends became engaged. Jason and Jessica. Their story is featured here on King's Bride. As I eagerly awaited their wedding, I found myself penning the following song down. Later, I ended up recording a demo and sending it to them, it having been inspired by their story. At the time, I was seven months away from my own wedding and anxiously awaiting the day I, too, would be able to say to my groom, "I've been waiting for you!"

I hope you are encouraged to continue to wait.

Click here to listen to "Waiting For You"


He was running through the fields
She was picking flowers
He was fishing in the pond
She was playing house
Now they're standing at the alter together
They're about to exchange their wedding vows

As they look into the eyes of one another
You can almost hear them as they say...

Chorus:
I've been waiting for you
I've been praying for you
And now I'll spend my life with you
God sent you to me after faithfully
Waiting for you

There were days
When he almost gave up hoping
There were nights
When she wondered at God's plan
But they waited and they both remained faithful
Entrusting their lives into God's hands

Now as loved ones and friends all gather 'round
You can almost see the Savior smiling down
As they say....

Chorus:
I've been waiting for you
I've been praying for you
And now I'll spend my life with you
God sent you to me after faithfully
Waiting for you

God Hasn't Forgotten You

Home from Wednesday night youth meeting, she walked into her room, tossed her purse and Bible on her desk, then dropped to her bed. With a tired sigh that went beyond physical fatigue, she just sat there silently, lost in thought.

Another night with Church friends who were more like acquaintances....

Another night having to ignore the silly giggling from "that couple"....

Another night of being given scowls and glares when she spoke anything remotely concerning set-apartness....

With a pounding headache and an aching heart, she sat there, silently, wondering what she should do. Nobody wanted to live differently. Nobody really even liked her. Oh, they liked parts of her, I suppose, but nobody truly wanted to be her friend....and she knew why. She was different. She believed different things.... like love being worth waiting for; like purity being something to prize and protect. She dressed in a different way.... no miniskirts or plunging, low necklines. She acted differently too. She didn't shameless flirt with the guys around her. She didn't let out the cute little giggle when a guy made eyes at her. She didn't bat her long eyelashes their way or sway as she walked pass them. She was far different from those around her and though she was proud of that fact, the frustration of being utterly alone in her pursuit of "different living" was beginning to weigh on her.

"Lord," she prayed. "Have you forgotten about me?"

With tears in her eyes, looked down at her bedspread. "God....were you watching tonight? Did You see them sneak that kiss with the youth director left the room? Did You hear what they were whispering to each other and writing about all throughout the lesson? Do You see how they treat me?.....God, they all act like they are so happy with their significant other. I know I have chosen the right path and the right way, so why am I hurting right now?? Why am I lonely tonight when they are giggling like crazy?? God, are You still there??"

I remember that night. Actually, I remember many nights exactly like that. Sadly, in my pursuit of purity, I had no support system outside of my parents. If it hadn't been for them, I could have possibility been driven to lowering my standards. But oh, how I wanted to be different! I wanted to be truly set-apart. Because of the fact that practically everyone my age thought I was crazy in that area of my life, there was no one to encourage me to hang in there other than my mom and dad. At that time, I was having so many attacks from friends, Church people, and even family members who thought that my "set-apart" way of living was unrealistic, old fashioned, outdated, lame, a form of abuse from my parents, and the like.

It hurt.

I remember that night as I sat on my bed, trying to keep my tears from pouring down my face. I felt lonely that night. I felt forgotten by God. And it was then that He gave me these words:

Come back to me.
          
In moments of doubt and frustration and loneliness, instead of wallowing in self-pity, what we SHOULD do is run back into the comforting arms of the Lord. His strength is made perfect in weakness. When we stray a bit from Him, we begin to feel its effects. We grow stale in our faith. We begin to doubt. We get lonely. We even wonder, as I did, if God has forgotten all about us. After that night, I tried to take those moments of loneliness as a call from my Father to come back to Him. HE never leaves. We do the leaving; we do the straying. And though WE may forget the many promises that He has made, He never forgets.

When we hurt, He feels that hurt and longs for us to allow Him to comfort us.

When we are lonely, He aches with us, yearning to wrap us up in His arms.

When we are tired of waiting, He is there, ready to sustain us with His strength.

In your pursuit of purity and in your season of waiting, I want to encourage you to, as Mary Slessor once said, keep close to Jesus. Do not stray from His presence. In those moments of loneliness, please remember that God has not forgotten you, nor will He. He sees far beyond what we see and is scripting a beautiful love story for you....all you have to do is give Him the pen and trust Him.
              

A Bride's Walk

To me, one of the grandest moments of a wedding ceremony is when the bride makes her entrance and begins walking down the aisle. The music swells, all heads turn, the crowd rises, the groom is full of emotion, and - THERE SHE IS!

Slowly, she begins walking down the aisle toward her groom; her beloved.

I remember my walk.

I had been choked with emotion listening as each song was played. The candles were lit during "Sunrise." Then "Great is Thy Faithfulness" began as our grandmothers and mothers were escorted to their seats. Then my groom and his groomsmen entered. After that, everyone was still as Grant's and my song began to play. As it ended, I took a breath. The processional was about to begin. I listened as the music began and watched as my friends and sisters made their way down the aisle. I remember being momentarily distracted by the timing and made a motion for the ring bearer to begin walking. Then, it hit me. It was time. This was it. I took my Dad's arm and made my way to the aisle, quickly pausing before we began our walk.

As I stood there, I searched for my groom's face. There he was....at the end of the aisle, waiting for me to join him. I gave the biggest smile I could muster and began to walk, keeping my eyes focused on him. Though the crowd stood to honor me, and though my uncle loudly blew the shofar horn, through all the commotion, I fixed my eyes on Grant knowing that if I could just keep looking to him, I would make it. A part of me was afraid. "I'm getting married. My whole life is about to dramatically change." A part of me wanted to burst into tears, thankful and grateful for all the blessings. A part of me wanted to run down the aisle towards him before he got cold feet and changed his mind! But I kept a steady walk and focused on his face, on his eyes.

Finally, we made it to the alter. As I looked at my groom, I saw a mixture of joy and awe. He gave me a small smile and nodded, telling me that he thought I looked gorgeous. Then, he took my hand and the ceremony began!

Obviously, the bride's walk is one of everyone's favorite parts of a wedding day.

As I began to think back, I couldn't help but think that our walk, as Christians, should be very similar to a bride's walk down the aisle.

I cannot say that every bride does what I did, which was focus in on my groom, but I do know that that is exactly what every Christian needs to do when walking through this life.

In this world, there is pain and trials. There is hardship. There are sometimes roads that are long and lonely. Sometimes the cross we carry is exceptionally heavy to bear. But, sisters, LOOK to JESUS.

When you are afraid, focus your eyes on Jesus.


When you are tired, fix your gaze upon His face.


When you are weary, keep walking steadily onward towards Him.


When you stumble, get back up and continue on.
      
Hebrews 12:1 says, "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." Then comes the best part that gives us hope....

Hebrews 12:2a - "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith...."

Looking unto Jesus. Looking unto Him.

As the bride of Jesus Christ, let us lay aside all the things that so easily hold us back and let us steady our eyes upon the beautiful face of our Master and walk towards Him. Sometimes, there will be the commotion of life that will threaten to deter us. Sometimes our own fears may tempt us to pause. But if we will keep our eyes focused on the throne and upon our beloved Bridegroom, and walk on, we will make it one day. And what a wonderful day it will be when we finally reach the "alter" of Heaven and be with our Beloved for all eternity! On that day, we won't be thinking much of the long walk down the aisle. We will only be basking in the love of our King!


Ephesians 4:1
"I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called."
  

Ephesians 4:17
"This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind."
  
Ephesians 5:8b
"....walk as children of light."
  

Purity Lost

I do not understand the mentality of this society. No one listens to the voice(s) that's crying out; voices of caution. No one heeds the warning signs anymore. I will never understand why so many gift away the most beautiful, priceless thing they own as a mere trinket. They choose to give away their purty - a precious, God-given jewel - like something they bought from a dime store. I don't understand why they offer it up to the highest bidder or give it out as a prize for a game; why they hand it over without question, without committment. A heated moment in the backseat and all is lost. Love just isn't patient anymore.

It seems as though, every time I turn around, I hear of another friend, loved one, or acquaintance who has gone down the road of premarital sex. And I wonder why. If I could only sit down with them, I would ask them WHY?

Why did you give it all away? What was your reason? What justified your actions? Don't you know that there is a better way? Do you not see the damage you have done? Did you do it because you wanted to feel loved and accepted? Why not turn to God who loves you so much He gave His Son to die for you? Why not turn to the Author of love? Why? Why?

Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."

As a teenager, I remember spending night crying over losing one friend after the next to sexual promiscuity. I would see them beging to date around, then slowly give themselves away. Next, I would see heartbreak, pregnancy, diseases. I saw a tremendous amount of emotional pain by toying with sexual sin. It hurt me to see them go through so much....it still hurts today. If only they had resisted Satan's temptation.

In 2004 I wrote the following prayer in my journal:

Oh Lord, please come and touch my generation. May it be a generation that pleases You!..a pure, unadulterated, clean generation who lives to glorify You in their bodies. Help me, as a Christian, come out and separate myself from the ungodliness of our society and be a light in this world.


Now, seven years later, I echo that same prayer.

I pray each one of you will hold on to your precious purity and guard it; treasure it; keep it safe. Keep it sacred. Do not lose something so valuable and beautiful.

Psalm 37:3-7
"Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass."
            
Do you know what you have done;
What you had, then gave away?
I gave you something so special,
Something wonderful to save.

I gave you your purity,
Something that I made
For your one and only love
That I would send your way.

But you threw it to the wind
With no thought of tomorrow.
You had your fun and pleasure
That soon turned to sorrow.

You gave away to many
What I had made for only one,
And the sin you have committed
Has been placed upon my Son.

Why did you give it all away
When you could have had a life so pure?
All you had to do was trust me
But now the pain, you must endure.

I love you still, and you are forgiven.
There is cleansing and freedom today.
But it does not change your past.
Oh, why did you give it all away?

A Man's Thoughts on Modesty

10 Things I'm Learning in Marriage

The wedding is one day....The marriage is a lifetime.

And nothing about marriage comes natural. Why? Because marriage is hard work.

I am sure many people enter into marriage thinking that they have a head start. I know I did. How wrong I was. Just like nothing can prepare you for parenthood until you actually become a parent, nothing can quite prepare you for the marriage relationship.

I know that being married for one year and two months makes me a "newbie" still, but I am here to testify that once you are married, the lessons begin! You start learning right away! And here are a few things that God has taught (and is still teaching) me!

1. Christ must be your fulfillment. This lesson should begin long before the "I Do's" are spoken. It is very easy to rely on your spouse to fulfil you, but listen to me: this never works. There have been plenty of moments when I have grown irritated when Grant hasn't met my every need. It is then that I have had to be reminded by the Lord to stop and remember an invaluable truth: HE is all. Nobody, not even your dearest friend and soul mate, can meet all your needs. God created it to be this way as an ever-constant reminder that HE is God and the only One who can fulfill us completely.

2. Remember your spouse is a sinner. Yes, Grant is my prince charming. Yes, he is a man of God. Yes, he will stop and pray no matter when or where. Yes, he is my best earthly friend. But he is not perfect. I have seen him angry, irritated, and stressed out. I know what makes him tick (yes, he can get ticked). I know his weaknesses and his imperfections. He is still a sinner.....and as much as it hurts my pride to say it.... I am one too.

3. Pick your battles. That's a toughie. At first, it sounds like 100% fun all the time to live with your best friend. And, to a degree, it IS fun! But it is also work. Habits can become annoying (like the clearing of the throat in the shower every morning). Little things can get under your skin (like finding little hairs all over the sink after a shave). But I have to remember to stop and ask myself, "Is this worth getting angry over? Is this thing worth picking a fight about?"  Most of the time, it's not. So pick your battles.

4. Learn how to make up. Pride has to die in a marriage relationship. It is easy for me to gloat when I am proven right in a disagreement. And it is very easy to refuse to say "I'm sorry." But it MUST be done! Disagreements are inevitable in marriage. Marriage takes two different people (male and female) who grew up in two different families (sometimes in two very different circumstances), with two different personalities and character traits, and it thrusts them together in tight living spaces. It's impossible for two opposite creatures to live in constant harmony. So you will have moments that are not pleasant. But one thing that has to be learned is the art of making up. Get over yourself. Let go of your pride. Remember you LOVE your spouse and made some serious vows to him/her. Forgive. Forget. Move on. It is rewarding if you do!

5. Compromise. I like to talk things out. Grant does not. When there has been a disagreement or if I feel unsettled about something, I need to talk about things in order to move past it. Grant prefers to go into "internal hibernation" for a while. So....what do we do in this situation? We learn to compromise. Sometimes I need to give Grant an hour or more to keep from overwhelming him or for him to get his thoughts together. Sometimes Grant puts those things aside in order to sit down immediately with me to talk about how I feel. We don't take turns. We just do our best to find the happy medium no matter what the situation may be.

6. Let go of your rights. I am still struggling with this area. Sometimes I don't want to compromise. Sometimes I want my way. Sometimes I am downright selfish. And sometimes I believe I have a "right" to act like a self-centered wife. But the more I study and pray, the more I find that we, as Christians, should let go of our rights. In all honesty, we have none. We gave up all our rights when we allowed Jesus to take over and buy us "with a price." So let go.

7. Have a date night. The reality of life can wear you down. Sometimes we get SO busy! It is for this reason that it is important to have a date night fairly often. For Grant and I, this was hard. We were married for three months when I got pregnant. Morning sickness, a growing belly, feeling tired, THEN a new baby! All in one year! A date night? Yeah right. But it is so important to make time for one another. Recently Grant and I did just that and WOW! It was such a blessing to be able to get away and simply enjoy each other's company. Even if you don't have the money to go out, stay in, turn the TV off and talk to one another. Or cook a hearty meal and rent a movie. Reminisce with each other. Just enjoy being together as husband and wife. Your relationship as husband and wife comes before all else, save your relationship with the Lord.

8. Be each other's best friend. Growing up, I had what I thought were a few "best friends" here and there. How wrong I was. Grant is literally my best earthly friend. I can let my hair down with him. I can be 100% me. He knows me, sometimes better than I know myself. And I know him better than anyone else. We belly laugh together. We tell crazy jokes. We giggle like teenagers. We hop in the truck and take off down dirt roads blaring music and singing. We pray together. We tell each other things that are difficult for the other to hear. We are there for one another....through thick and thin, good and bad. Don't ever let outside friendships and relationships, work, hobbies, or anything of the like stand in the way of you and your spouse being best friends.

9. Protect your spouse and your marriage. Privacy in marriage is almost foreign these days. And it shouldn't be! From the very beginning of our relationship, I made a personal committment that private things would always remain private. Marriage is a "bear-all" relationship. You are totally revealed in every way to your spouse. Protect that. Keep it sacred. I have vowed, when Grant and I have a disagreement, to never talk about it to anyone. It is no one's business and my words, even at a time when I may be upset, could hurt my husband and bring him disrespect. It is personal and between him, myself, and the Lord. I have vowed never to have "bedroom discussions" with girlfriends. The bedroom is sacred, holy, and deserves the utmost privacy. There are plenty of outside things that should be guarded against. Protect your spouse and your marriage.

10. Pray and pray together. Pray for you spouse. Pray that he can be a strong, passionate, mighty man of God. Pray that she can rise and be a valiant, virtuous woman of faith. Pray for strength. Pray for wisdom. Pray for your marriage as a whole. Pray for your children. Pray for yourself. Then pray together. Prayer brings unity. Praying alone can bring you closer to the throne of God and closer to His will. Praying together as a couple brings you closer together AS you draw nearer to the heart of God. Prayer brings unity and it brings strength. Always, always, always pray! Never cease!