When Marriage Becomes an Idol

Marriage is wonderful. Like most girls growing up, I dreamed about love and living happily ever after. Now that I am married, I often look back to my single years and, while I rejoice in the faithfulness of the Lord and the beauty of a pure past, I can see several pitfalls I wish I would have avoided. I pray you can benefit and learn from my season of singleness....    
     

     

Today I am honored to be a guest post for Megan in her new series, Singleness Saturdays. Continue reading over at He Will Be Faithful.

Romance, God's Way

Quotations on Romance

Eric & Leslie Ludy

“Before our relationship ever began, we each individually made a decision to go against the cultural norm – even the Christian norm – by setting ourselves completely aside for each other in every way – mentally, emotionally, and physically. It was a difficult decision to make, yet it was the best foundation we ever could have laid for our marriage.”

“If your future spouse could see you now, as you interact with members of the opposite sex, how would they feel? Would they feel hurt and jealous, or adored and special?”

“Faithfulness is not something that should begin only after the marriage vows are spoken. Faithfulness should be learned and practiced throughout our lifetime.”

“A letter represents something far more than a kiss ever could. It evidences thoughtfulness and the gift of time. While a kiss can prove tender, it must overcome the stigma of impulsiveness to truly display love. A letter on the other hand, when written in the spirit of ardor and romance – even if it never mentions passion – strokes the heart deeper than any other form of physical touch. A kiss cannot be felt again and again from a great distance, but a letter can be read and reread thousands of times. A kiss only familiarizes the lips with the physical body of a lover. A letter familiarizes the heart, mind, and soul. Maybe that’s why God chose to write us a letter.”

“God knows what we’re attracted to better than we do.”

“Give God the Pen. The single reason He gave us the pen was so we could give it back to Him.”

“Tenderness means looking at life through their eyes.”

“Romance is more difficult after the honeymoon because you’ve won their heart…now you must cherish their heart.”

“A woman’s perception of her beauty is shaped by the men in her life. So be artists, be gentle and tender with the words you guys speak.”

“A man’s sense of masculinity and confidence flows directly from the women in his life. If the thing he works hard at is validated by a woman, it will stay with him for the rest of his life.”

Advice To Girls: “Keep your standards high and keep trusting that that Knight in Shining Armor is out there for you and set yourself aside completely in purity for that person.”

Advice To Guys: “Same thing, but also the character of Christ. I deal with girls all over the country—all over the world even—and I know that they’re more impressed with sensitivity, kindness, gentleness, and a pure heart than they are with muscles, smooth talk, and everything down just perfect. It’s the character of Christ that will win out in the end. So if you keep your standards high, God will not disappoint you.”
  

   

Many years ago, I was introduced to Eric and Leslie Ludy; a couple who saved their first kiss together for their wedding day. I was moved. I was inspired. I was motivated. Because of their story, I chose to remain practice purity - of the mind, heart, and body - and save it all for my husband on our wedding day. In March of 2010, just one month before my wedding, I was blessed to be able to attend a conference with two of my sisters where I met them and was able to share how God used their testimony in my life. I pray you, too, will be encouraged to learn about romance....God's way.

My Wedding Remembered

A sweet friend made this slideshow of Grant's and my wedding last spring. It was such a blessing to view and I thought I would share.




P.S. The song is "Bless This Man" by Katie Drake

Love and Letters

Thinking on Thursday's post of love letters and missing my groom very much while he is away, I got to thinking of the first real love letter I received from my man. It was late autumn of 2008 and a sweet-smelling envelope came in the mail. Seeing it was from my beau, I curiously opened it and found myself in near shock at what I found and what I read. What I found was rose petals and what I read, I will never forget.

Later that day, I sent an email to my dear friend with a strange, yet gloriously beautiful thought. Here is what I wrote:

This morning, I received an absolutely beautiful, sweet, Godly and completely lovely letter from my gentleman "court-er." :) It wasn't an e-mail...it was one of those old fashioned, completely charming letters you get in your mailbox!...which I love, if you can't tell. And it was filled with all those sentiments we girls love so much, along with a Godly type of love and romance. Perfect. :) I read it and I sighed and smiled and did the whole "fluttering eye" thing, but then it was like God struck me with something. You know how we go through life "knowing" a lot of things, but then one day we are actually "hit" with it...and then we REALLY know it?... *hopes that makes sense* Anyway, I felt nearly convicted with this thought: as giddy and girlishly happy that I get when receiving a love note from my earthly suitor, how much more happy and in love I should be when I read the words of Christ?...who is my TRUE love, my heavenly Prince. It really made me think. I hate to admit this, but sometimes I have read my Bible out of obligation...and I never read a love letter that way! That really made me think. The other day when we were talking, you mentioned that marriage gives a whole new perspective on the love of Jesus...well, I'm beginning to see it in a new light. Falling in love here on earth is soooo amazing. It's so exciting and nerve wracking and scary and perfect all rolled into one big emotion! But it makes you feel like nothing can possibly beat that feeling. And then, you are reminded of God's love. How He loves you SO much more than any human being ever could. That really startled me today. And for some reason, I felt I needed to share that with you!

Pray for me. I know you are, but pray that no earthly romance will ever become more important...or even more exciting...than my relationship with Christ. Pray that no matter how in love I become here with Grant, I will always have Jesus as the supreme Lover of my soul. I'm praying the very same for you. :)
 
 
Looking back, I can see that at that moment, God began doing a bigger work in my life in drawing me closer to Him and viewing Him as the all-consuming, passionate Lover of my heart. I still have quite a ways to go in my pursuit of Him, but how thankful I am that it was on that day that the Lord revealed such a wonderful thing to me! I have enjoyed thinking back to over a year ago, when my first love letter from my groom greeted me. And along those same thoughts, I have also thought back to the first time I was given God's love letter (aka - The Bible!). Growing up in a Christian home, I can't tell you the first time I heard the gospel. Perhaps it was while I was still in the womb! But I can tell you about the first time it hit me and changed me. I was five years old and with my family in north Arkansas. I was trying to understand the concept of a God that was bigger than anything my imagination could come up with...bigger than time itself. And suddenly, while the preacher was preaching, God began to speak to my little heart. I suddenly knew I had to believe through faith that the Jesus I grew up singing about, reading about, and loving was GOD. THE God. And He loved and wanted me. No matter how I misbehaved, He wanted me. I remembered the verses I had been taught...

...That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

...And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

...For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
 
Needless to say, it didn't take long for the truth that was in my head to become truth that was in my heart and soul. It became faith. And since that day, Christ has drawn me closer to Him, showing me over and over and over again that He LOVES me! He shows me His love through the sunshine, through the wind, through the birds chirpping, the deer running, the flowers blooming, and all of creation singing! He tells me He loves me in the quiet moments...and in His indescribable love letter! He showers me with blessings and reminders that He is completely in love - with me! ....and how I long to shower HIM with the very same reminders.
 
Ladies....brides....fellow Christians....let this simple post and ALL of the world around you be a reminder of the King of Kings....and His love toward us.

Write Me A Letter

There is something about a love letter.

Throughout mine and Grant's courtship and engagement, we have exchanged letters to each other. REAL letters. It's sweet to see how they have evolved. At first, you could see Grant's hesitant pursuit and gentle, slow winning. In mine, you could see the sweet friendship and joy. Then you could see the love growing and the letters becoming more tender and personal as the months went by. Now, as we are nearing the end of our engagement, letters are full of building love, the blessings of God, and the exciting anticipation that SOON, there will be a marriage!

Love letters are a beautiful thing...

Being an ultimate girly girl who loves candles and bubble baths, the color pink, and fluffy pillows; who cries during movies, while reading books, listening to music, and talking with friends, I dearly love letters from my man. There is something in a girl that loves the adoration, the reminders of affection, and the tokens of love. It's a sweet thing.

A few months ago, when I flew to Colorado to visit some of my dearest friends, my groom - the ever-romantic one - suprised me with a package of letters he had sent ahead of me. So upon arriving in Colorado, my dear friend excitedly thrusted a big envelope into my hands. In it was a letter for every day spent in Colorado. And if that wasn't enough, each letter had a different color of rose petals along with it! Talk about heart fluttering! Well, early tomorrow morning, my groom will board a plane and head to El Salvador for a week-long mission trip where he will do all he can do to spread the wonderful news of Jesus Christ! As I said goodbye to him this afternoon, I slipped into his truck......you guessed it! A love letter. :) Letters are a big part of our relationship. They have been from the very beginning.

If you were to sit and think about it, you would see that love letters are a big part of God's love relationship with us. How?? you may ask.

The Bible is His love letter to us! Think about it..... over and over, He tells us of His love:

I will never leave you or forsake you...

Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee...

I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you...

And I will betroth thee unto me for ever...

Peace I leave with you...

Behold, thou art fair my love...

And I will dwell in the midst of thee...

O my dove... let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice...

Sounds like a love letter to me!

If you are like me, then you love receiving love letters. You welcome them with awe, an excited smile, and a desire to write and send one in return. So friends....how much more does our Lord long for you to do the same with Him? He has written the grandest, sweetest, most beautiful and fulfilling love letter of all time! And how He longs for us! How He desires intimacy with His bride! How He wishes to see an eager and excited smile when we open up His love letter to us. He looks over at us to see if we are in awe, if we are humbled and moved and touched and completely in love with Him in return!

I pray it is so with you...

A Poet and a Prince

It's common knowledge that most girls want a prince. They want the suave, confident, handsome, and heroic manly-man. They want a man who isn't afraid to swing a sword and defeat the villian. Blood, sweat, dirt and all.

But there is another side of a man that is greatly desired by ladies as well. It's the poetic side.

When guys hear the word "poetic" they usually grumble and think of Shakespeare and Longfellow and their English Literature class in school. But the poetic side that girls long for isn't a man in tights fervently saying "It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!" It's not even roses and rings. It isn't even fancy restaurants and candlelit dinners. Those things are sweet, but it is so much more than that! The poetic side is the simple romance of the heart. It's the time spent thinking of and appreciating the other. It's the tender words, the thoughtful actions, the sweet little notes and beautifully written love letters. For a prince to be truly noble, he must be tender. He must be willing to fight off the dragons (and bugs and mice too!) and willing to risk his life saving you from harm, but he also must be thoughtful, kind, considerate, loving...not just risking his life for you, but willing to literally lay it down. And vice-versa for us ladies! (But more on the flip-side another day!)

Jesus, as I have written before, is the PERFECT Prince! The true Prince. He is the ultimate Warrior, the ultimate Champion. But He is also the ultimate Lover. He is the ultimate Poet. He demonstrated His love for us not only by coming to earth and defeating Satan's hold on us, offering us Salvation, but He demonstrated His love by literally laying down His life for all of mankind.

I heard it said once that the perfect picture of manhood and of Jesus can be found in reading Revelation and Song of Solomon together. In Revelation, we see the strength and mighty valour of Christ. We see His Kingly manner and His royal position and authority. Then when reading Song of Solomon, we see His tenderness, His passionate love, and His poetic expression of that love. We see two sides of the Great King and Prince, Jesus Christ.

So it should be with earthly men.

If they desire to be like Jesus, then they must follow in His footsteps. They must be mighty and strong, standing up for least, defending the weak, serving Christ, and fighting in the army of God relentlessly. And along with that, they must be gentlemen, respectful, thoughtful, kind, sincere, trustworthy, faithful, romantic, tender, and loving. They must work with all their heart to be a poet and prince... just like Christ.

We girls swoon over a man like this. And as a reminder to myself and all you girls out there - earthly poet/princes are carbon copies, not the real thing! We should swoon 100 times more over Jesus Christ - the ultimate example of nobility and the Creator of all that is Princely and Poetic. We should desire an intimate relationship FIRST and FOREMOST with Him. As a result... He will lead us to our earthly poet/prince. :)

The following song is a perfect picture of the contrast between the earthly noble prince/poet and our heavenly Prince/Poet. It makes me cry...fyi, so grab some tissues girls and WAIT for a man like this. And all you guys? Tighten your belt and determine to BE like your King. I can assure you, there is nothing so handsome and worthy of respect and honor than a man who is a Poet and a Prince...

http://www.imeem.com/sunshine-rachelle/music/5Ad7QIaB/eric-and-leslie-ludy-poet-and-a-prince/

She longs for me to hold her
Offer my shoulder
Cherish her as a flower
Adore her as an angel

She longs for a defender
A love-inspired prize fighter
A champion, a charmer
A prince so noble like this

When I look within
Do I see a prince smiling back at me?
Or do I see a soul that’s been swallowed
By selfishness and greed?
If I’ll ever be a great lover, I must remember this
Love that lasts forever is found only in...Jesus

She longs for me to serenade
Think of her throughout my days
Know when to buy her flowers
Talk with her for hours

She longs for a lover
A true man of tenderness
A gentleman, a poet
A prince so noble like this

When I look inside
Do I see the signs that God is changing me?
Or do I see a man still led by self
Yearning to be free?
If I’ll ever be a great lover, I must remember this
Love that lasts forever is found only in...Jesus

He can teach me how to love her
Honor and defend her
How to be a man she laughs with
And she trusts enough to cry with
Someone just like Jesus

She longs for a true lover
I can be this for her
Cause I will learn from Jesus
How to be a man that’s tender

His gentleness and strength
And love that spans eternity
He’s a champion of true love
He’s a gentleman, a poet, a prince