Recommended Reading

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Josh Harris

When I read this book years ago, at age 13, my whole life was challenged and changed. This is a great book that calls all young people to examine the dating game, kiss it goodbye, and begin redeeming the time.

Boy Meets Girl by Josh Harris

The sequal to "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" this is a great book that helps you with all the "what now's" and "how to's" of courtship and engagement.

When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy

This is a must-have! Giving a beautiful vision of God-scripted romance, this book introduces you to the kind of love God has for His children and gently calling every generation to trust the pen of life into the Author of Love's hands.

When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy

Following the path of "letting God write," the Ludy's share their own story of how Christ revealed Himself to them, guided them, and brought them together. It is definitely one of the most beautiful love stories I have ever read!

Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot

"Does God want everything?" YES, He does! In this book, Elisabeth tells her story of her five year courtship to Jim Elliot and how she learned to release her desires into the hands of Christ in the midst of passion and impatience, she challenges all to live a life of passionate purity.

For Girls:

Sacred Singleness by Leslie Ludy

In this book, Leslie shares stories and testimonies of modern young women who are using their season of singleness to glorify and serve Christ instead of constantly in pursuit of "Mr. Right." She challenges women of all ages live counter to the culture and passionately pursue Jesus Christ, using the sacred season of singleness as an opportunity to live a poured out life.

For Guys:
God's Gift to Women by Eric Ludy

Our culture exalts qualities of masculinity that are far from the attributes of Jesus. This book challenges the guys to rise up and be men of God, blending courage and warrior strength with kindness and spiritual sensitivity, showing young men how to become the heroic, selfless knight that every woman dreams about.

Dear Sisters

Since I have been married, several single sisters have had many questions for me.

Is waiting worth it? What can I do now when I feel alone? Is there really someone out there for me?

With Valentine's Day just ending, I know many of you who are waiting for your Prince Charming may be feeling down and lonely. Some of you might have a boyfriend and are wondering if waiting is really worth it in the end. Well my sisters, I have some things to say to you....


Dear Sisters,

As I sit here in the morning light, God is reminding me of how faithful He is. He has given me a new day. He has given me His love and salvation. He has given me a wonderful family and great friends. He has given me an amazing husband who is the love of my life and, to top it off, He has even given me a baby boy on the way! I do not know all of you, nor do I know what you go through in your day-to-day life; your ups and your downs. I do not know your life's ambitions and I don't know the deepest desires of your heart. But I can guess that you desire love. You desire a knight in shining armor. You long for a "happily ever after" kind of love story. After all, that is how our God created you.

What can I possibly say to you that would accurately describe how big our God is? It amazes me that when I was 15 years old, single, and wondering if I would ever find true love, God was orchestrating a beautiful story up ahead of me. And I had no idea! When I met my husband-to-be when I was 21 years old, little did I know that my Lord was smiling down, knowing that I wouldn't catch on to His master plan until over a year later! God is much bigger than our minds can possibly fathom. I know you may be sitting there wondering if He has forgotten you or if He really cares about your relationship status. I assure you that He has not forgotten you, and I can testify that He does care, even about the most minute details of your life. That's the kind of God He is. I used to wonder the same things you may have wondered about. I wanted a noble Knight to charge into my life and win my heart. I wanted a fairytale story and I wanted a love worth waiting for. I wondered if I would actually get what I dreamed and prayed for. I doubted God's faithfulness, but He proved me wrong!

How could I possibly encourage you to wait on the Lord? We live in an "instant" world. We have microwavable dinners, instant messages, and everything quicker and faster. Day by day, it gets easier and easier to become impatient and discontent. In relationships, it is no different. I remember when I made the choice not to date. I had gotten a glimpse of something big and beautiful. I pictured my wedding day and my wedding night and the more I dwelt on it, then more I wanted to be able to stand before my groom and give him everything. No leftovers. No past history. No baggage. No comparisons. Was it easy to wait? No, it wasn't. But was it worth it on my wedding day? YES, it was!


My sisters, if I could say two things to you I would say:

1. Wait on our God. If you are playing the dating game, ditch the boyfriend until the Author of Love sends you HIS choice. Do not take the writing pen into your hands, but let our Lord script your story. HE writes only the best love stories! Let Him have control. The Bible says that our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9) and to guard it closely (Proverbs 4:23). Do not give pieces of your heart and body away. Do not throw around "I love You's" because each time you do, it becomes less meaningful to your future husband. Dear friends, I cannot stress the magnitude of the beauty that comes with waiting. It is worth every sacrifice, every tear of loneliness, every dateless night, and every moment you spend patiently waiting on the Lord. Do not doubt His faithfulness. Please, wait. And while you are waiting.....
   
2. Fall in love with Jesus. As you sit patiently and wait for your earthly prince to come and carry you away into the sunset (it still happens, believe you me!), fall more in love with your heavenly Prince, Jesus Christ. As you draw nearer to His heart, He will comfort you, strengthen you, and fill your life with joy and contentment....and the waiting won't be much of a big a deal anymore, because you will be totally taken up with Christ. The Bible says that the Lord will give each of us the desires of our hearts IF we delight in Him (Psalm 37:4-5). I encourage you to do so. Learn more about who He is and what He has done and will do. Read His love letter to you. Talk with Him. Lean on Him. Run to Him. Adore Him. The more your mind and heart is captured by Jesus, the more beautiful your earthly love story will be. And rest assured that no sneaky prince-wanna-be will be able to deceive you if you are completely focused on Him. Instead, the noble man of God that the Lord has in store for you will not only be captivated by your relationship with Jesus, he will lead you even closer to Christ! Sisters, please do away with distractions and petty come-and-go things. Fall into the arms of our ever-faithful, constant Companion and Champion, Jesus. You will never regret it.

What more can I say? The choice is yours, but I pray fervently that each of you will catch a glimpse of the glorious love story our God has for you.....and then serve your faithful King as you wait. It is worth it....and He is faithful.

Love,
    your sister

Purity of Heart and Mind

My first post of 2011. Sorry it has been a while, everyone.

Lately, I have been heavily thinking about mental purity. There have been plenty of books written, songs sung, and websites launched that encourages and promotes physical purity. And bravo! But here is a thought: What about the purity of the mind? What about the purity of the heart?

Of course, I am married and many may think that I am free from the "purity challenge." Quite the contrary. In fact, after marriage, purity of every kind is just as vital and important. Yes, I may be married and, therefore, "free" in my physical relationship with my husband, but discipline must still be practiced and self control is still just as important. I must be on guard against the enemy who would love nothing more than to  smear the mud of sin on my marriage, my family, my testimony and my relationship with my King.

You may be wondering what type of tactics Satan can (and will!) use to try to destroy your mental and emotional purity. Here is a small list of things to stay away from:

1. Romance novels. I worked several years at a library in my hometown before I married. I remember so well all the many women - young and old - who would walk in regularly and exchange one stack of romance novels for another. What I came to discover is that most of the women who walked in and began a conversation with us, workers, would never speak positively about their husband. It was not uncommon for them to gush over some celebrity and make jokes as to how they would love to be their wife. I remember picking up a romance novel one day to see what all the fuss was about and was horrified at the explicit, frank, and anti-God language and story lines. What an abomination in the eyes of a holy God! I would encourage every woman - young and old - to abstain from romance novels....even most under the Christian label, as those can (and will) sometimes lure your heart and your emotions to some fictional character instead of toward your husband (even your future one). They will breed resentment and disrespect, both of which are sin. GOD created your husband, your father, and your brothers and though they are far from perfect, God commands us to respect and honor them. Keep your heart pure and reserved for only one.

2. Relationships with boy-crazy friends. If you want to maintain (or build) mental and emotional purity, sometimes it is most wise to keep yourself from being drawn into conversations and close friendships with girls and women who talk constantly of the latest heart throb. It can be so tempting to jump in and agree in their physical appraisal of "this-or-that guy" and then suddenly find yourself talking non-stop about who YOU think is the most handsome hunk on the planet. Now, married ladies, I will say that there is nothing wrong with bragging on your husband. In fact, it is needed in today's society. But do be mindful of how you brag and what words you choose. Be aware of your sisters in Christ who are not married and seeking to keep their focus on Christ. Do not tempt them to be boy crazy or dwell on boyfriends before the Lord's timing.

3. Secular Magazines. Picture this.... you are standing in the check-out line. Your eyes glaze over the magazine rack. What do you see? I'll tell you. You see pictures of women in skin-clad clothes and bikinis, you see headlines that talk of the latest "do's-and-don'ts" of sexual flings, and you see their advice on how to sizzle when you dress, talk, walk, and even sleep! How do you think reading these things affect your mental purity? Where will it lead your mind? If you are single, do you think it would make you dwell on physical relationships and tempt you to be outwardly attractive using their advice? If you are are married, do you think you will find yourself curious to try their techniques and hungry for more info to "spice" up your life? If you are human, then it most certainly will and that is exactly what their agenda is. I would encourage you to keep away from Cosmo, Elle, Glamour, Seventeen, Maxim, Vogue and the like.

4. Immodest dress. Modesty vs. fashion has always been a struggle. When we have curves, there is a desire in us that wants to flaunt them in tight, revealing clothes. But what are our motives for doing this? It could be to attract attention from males but, in so doing, we often lead them into lust, which makes us a stumbling block and the object of their sin. Another reason could be so we can feel attractive and desirable, selfishly thinking of our own beauty instead of considering the needs of our brothers and the enormous amount of spiritual discipline it takes for them to remain pure. Ladies, choose your clothes wisely. Many of the every-day clothes that girls now wear to school and church were the same type of outfits worn by prostitutes in the 80's. Statistics have proved that immodest clothing is one of the top 5 reasons girls become sexually active at an early age; many of them going on to becoming unwed teen mothers. Honor God with your dress. Cover yourself. Adorn yourself in grace and holiness.

5. Movies and Music. Okay, this one is a tough one. I am a girly girl who LOVES a good love story. But lately, I have been challenged in this area. What kind of movies do we watch? In terms of purity, do we own movies that have sexual scenes in them? Do we enjoy movies that promote the sin of fornication and/or adultery? Do we find ourself drooling over the actors or wishing that our husband "was like that"? Those are some questions to ask and tell-tell signs that what we're watching is not of God. And what about the music we listen to? Where does it lead your heart and your mind? What do the lyrics speak of? Is it glorifying God? Or is it glorifying a sinful relationship? Ask yourself these questions and prayerfully consider what God would have you to do. I would reccomend cleaning out your movie and CD shelf and your iTunes library.

Those are just 5 areas that Satan is using to destroy the purity of heart and mind in today's world. There are so many more! I have to be on guard against them. For the sake of my intimacy with Christ, for the sake of my marriage, for the sake of my family and future family, and for the sake of my testimony as a Christian, I must be careful to remain pure, not just in body, but in mind and heart as well.

Ladies, be watchful. Be vigilant. Be aware of the movies you watch, the music you listen to, the clothes you wear, the friendships you have, and what you read and put into your mind and heart.

As a wise girl once wrote, "If we can take every thought captive in obedience to Christ (easier said than done; it takes lots of prayer and diversion) than we're on our way to emotional purity." Amen and amen.

Proverbs 4:23
"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."

Philippians 4:7
"And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

Romans 12:2
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

2 Corinthians 10:5
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"

Bridalplasty

There is a new reality show on TV.

The name? Bridalplasty.

What's it about? Brides competing for plastic surgery.

Being an "all-things-wedding" lover, the title caught my eye. SO, I sat down to find out what the show was about. It took less than 10 minutes for me to change the channel. All in the name of "beauty" and offering "the dream wedding," the show is all about a woman's beauty coming from a fuller bust or slimmer waistline. It is about validating one's worth through being cut and "fixed."  As if women need more pressure....

The women on the show compete by writing vows or planning honeymoons and the "winner" of each level is awarded various surgeries. I only watched long enough to witness a few chosen ladies who won a certain level and were moved up, leaving two women who had to return home, with no "cutting" in their future. Both girls cried over their loss, as I expected, but I remember thinking, "They are really very attractive. I can't imagine what they would want to cut on themselves." THEN my eyes caught two pictures hanging on the wall behind them. They were pictures of the same two ladies in beautiful wedding gowns - with a Barbie-like waist, colored hair, toned arms.... Very different from the true looks of the two girls left behind. Interviewing them, one by one, the first woman pointed to "her picture" and said, "I just wanted to look like that! That is how beautiful I could be! And now I'll never have a chance...."  My blood boiled and my heart broke. Here was a pretty, average lady and her sense of self worth was so low, that she was on national television competing for a chance to change everything about her physical appearance. Her natural beauty was not good enough when held up next to mock photographs of some imagined model-like image of herself.

Our society has made beauty to be strictly outward when God Himself said that HE looks on the heart (2 Samuel 16:7). Have you, ladies, ever walked into Wal-Mart into the make-up section and just stood there overwhelmed? What about the shampoo and hair gel section? Or the face wash area? So many choices and so many targeted to "fix" puffy eyes, wrinkles, blotches, blemishes, age spots, freckles, and enlarged pores. Don't mistake me, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best or get rid of a few problem areas, but our society has made the outward physical appearance an obsession! The media holds up airbrushed models and tells us that we have to look like that - something that is unattainable, even for the model herself!

Hollywood produces magazines with the latest "how-to-fix-this" and "how-to-get-rid-of-that" in order to "keep your marriage on fire" and the number of lasting marital relationships in Hollywood is....well....I'll just say LOW.

The media has made beauty to be all about the outward adorning and has made marriage to be all about two things: sex and selfishness. Forget intimacy or deep bonding. It's now about the thrill and the fire of a biological act. Forget giving 100% all of the time. It is about getting your own needs met. Women are expected to show no emotion, be aggressive, be seductive little play toys, and never get wrinkles or stretch marks.

I'm on my soap box, I know. But how I wish that the girls and women of today would stop being materialistic and obsessed with their physical appearance. It is Jesus Christ who adorns a woman with beauty and HIS beauty lasts forever (yes, even well into your 70's). You can have all the plastic surgeries there is to offer, but if you do not have an intimate relationship with Christ, then your physical beauty is vain. Meaningless. And it will vanish quickly. You can have all the latest clothes, make-up, and accessories, and still feel worthless and unattractive. How I wish they would see that God did not just created us, He FORMED us. It is up to us to take care of our bodies and maintain them well, not to cut and tuck and change what He made. How I wish the girls and women of today would plant their high heels firmly on the ground and say, "MY beauty comes from my relationship with Jesus. MY marriage stays hot because we have the Author of Love in the center of our relationship."

A word to brides.... YES, it is your day. YES, I know you want to look BEAUTIFUL! But do not fall for the lie of this world. Your beauty comes with from Christ. It comes only from your closeness to our King. Perfect the inner beauty and the intimate relationship with Him, and you will be one radiantly beautiful bride!....no cutting involved!

Proverbs 31:30
"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised."

It's Worth It All

Years ago, my family sang a song that said,

It's worth it all to feel a fire that's burning deep within
It's worth it all to know I'm saved and I am free from sin
Just to feel His touch and know that He is coming back again
It's worth it all, it's worth it all

Though that song has little to do with sexual purity, I couldn't help but sing those words yesterday as I was scurrying around the house doing what housewives do.

I was going through my iTunes yesterday after and, to my delight, I found our wedding ceremony loaded onto my computer....so I watched it, reminiscing about that day. During the ceremony, my Dad, who performed the marriage, told my story to the 250+ witnesses gathered there. He spoke of my commitment to purity and all the trials that came with waiting and waiting....and waiting....for 24 years. As he ended my story, he said, "And aren't you glad, Kristen, that you held on?" I was! Just seconds from my first kiss and hours from my wedding night, I was so glad that I had waited for my prince; that I had saved everything for him and him alone. As I watched the video yesterday and heard myself sing "I Do," my song to my groom, I literally wept.

Grant and I have been married for 6 1/2 months and yet it seems like it has been years ago since I sat on my bed writing in my journal about how difficult it was to be patient. It feels like it's been years since I was a single girl, uninterested in any guy, yet hoping and praying that one day I would have a fairytale love of my own. I spent years saying "no" to kisses, trying to avoid the inevitable "Will you go out with me?" pleas. I spent years watching one friend after another get their heart broken, bash their ex behind their back, then hook with up another "perfect" person and....well....rinse and repeat. Years of hearing, "Oh, she's pregnant now. Did you know?" and "She and so-and-so.....you know."

Am I glad those years have gone? Definitely. However, I wouldn't trade those years for anything. They made me stronger, more determined to do things God's way. Yet, looking back, I remember the discouragement that came from time to time. I remember getting on my knees, asking God for forgiveness, and then strength to do things the right way. I remember crying and then hearing my Lord's voice saying, "Come to me. I am your Lover, I am your Prince...and I won't leave. Trust ME."

It was hard. It always is when you do things the Lord's way. Jesus said that His road is narrow. It is filled with hills and valleys, storms and sometimes vicious hurricanes. But oh....how sweet it is to walk with Jesus! To KNOW that you are in His will. Somehow, no matter how dark the sky may be, there is still a peaceful calm and a ray of sunshine when you are walking the narrow road of Christ, with Him at your side, guiding you, leading you, strengthening you, interceding for you....

That's how I feel, looking back. Did I face the storms of laughter, jokes, and condescending looks? Yep. Did I face the loss of friends, the headache of being unable to find a guy who truly wanted to be my friend, no strings attached? I did. Did I wonder if it was really worth it? Did I wonder if all the hard work would pay off? Yes.

*smile* But after 6 1/2 months of wedded bliss with a Godly, handsome, tender, passionate, romantic, strong, faithful husband with whom I will have a little one come April....I have to say, like that old song says, it's worth it all!  

....it's worth it all.

Bridal Beauty

Earlier this month, I had the joy of reuniting with some precious girls from a youth group. Many of them, knowing my purity testimony, asked about married life and I was able to tell them just how wonderful it is! We talked of purity, of relationships, and of the wedding day. MINE was such a beautiful and glorious day! Thinking back on it today, I began thinking of all the things I did to make myself beautiful for my wedding.

The night before the big day, I deep conditioned my hair. I polished my toe nails and scrubs the balls of my feet until they were smooth. I had already gone to get a manicure so my fingers and hands were ready! I washed my face and put on a facial mask. The next morning, I brushed, scrubbed, buffed, shaved, moisturized, and polished. I went to the hair salon and got my hair pulled into a beautiful curled updo. Then, I took care in putting my makeup on just so! I highlighted, I concealed, I blushed, and I outlined. I dabbed myself with perfume. I donned my gorgeous dress, slipped into my pretty shoes, and put on my jewelry. On our wedding night, it was no different. After arriving at our hotel, I went to the bathroom to change. While I was in there, preparing for our sacred and long-awaited night, I fixed my hair, brushed my teeth, and tried to look and smell sweet and desirable.

You may ask, "Why did you go to all that trouble?"

It seems like a lot for just one day. But it was THE DAY. And I wanted to look perfect for my groom. I wanted him to be captivated by my beauty. I wanted to be pleasing to him. Most any girl would agree that when they come to their wedding ceremony and wedding night, they want to look PERFECT!

With all that said, I have to say that we, as Christians, should do the same spiritually. I went to a lot of trouble for my wedding day. I had my hair done by a professional. I made sure my wedding gown was clean, pressed, and perfect. I took care to ensure my veil held no wrinkles. My shoes? They had to be clean and white, without a trace of dirt. On our wedding night, I did not throw on sweat pants and an old t-shirt. I adorned myself with a beautiful gown, clean and white. My spiritual state should be the same.

When Jesus Christ enters into your life, you are a bride! You are HIS! From that moment on, you have the desire to be clean, to be desirable, and to be beautiful for Him. You have the longing to always be perfectly groomed on the inside. To come before Him in old, smelly clothes with greasy hair, and unbrushed teeth is to show a careless attitude towards Him and your place as His bride. I am speaking spiritually. In my marriage with Grant, there have been moments where we have not looked our best. There have been mornings when I have been sick, and moments when my hair has been a mess and my clothes have been wrinkled. BUT my desire is to ALWAYS be desirable to him....and I put forth an effort. So it should be with our Jesus. I never want to come before Him and be unkempt and undesirable. I never want Him to see me dirty and unclean. Again, spiritually, I want to be BEAUTIFUL for Him! As girls, we always make time to make sure our hair is just so, our make-up is flawless, our breath is sweet-smelling, etc. We buy the straighteners, the curlers, the curling irons, the hair spray, the mousse, the gel, the styling creme, and the shampoo. We spend money making sure we have the foundation, the bronzer, the concealer, the mascara, the eyeliner, lipliner, lipstick, lipgloss, and lipbalm. We buy the razors, the lotions, the teeth whitener, the nail polish, the perfume, the clothes, the shoes, and the jewelry.

Girls and women have a built-in desire to be gorgeous on the outside. It is my desire, however, to be gorgeous on the inside; to make THAT my priority. If we, as Christian ladies, learn to, first, polish and perfect the inside, then that will seep forth and make our outward appearance radiant and stunning.

Proverbs 31:30
"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised."

 Psalm 45:11"So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him."
Psalm 90:17a
"And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us...."

Wait! I'm a Bride??

The other day, as I was driving home from town, I thought back to my wedding day. I do that quiet often. Now that I am expecting and my clothes are beginning to get tight, sometimes I sneak a peak at my wedding dress hanging in my closet and wonder if I will ever fit into it again! But regardless if I will be able to zip it up or not, I will always love my wedding dress. The same goes for my wedding shoes (which were GORGEOUS, by the way!), my wedding veil, and my jewelry.

Here is a question:  Do you think I could forget my wedding attire?

Would you forget your wedding attire? Would you forget your wedding day?

Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? A BRIDE forgetting about her wedding day? A BRIDE forgetting about her wedding dress? Unheard of, right?

A few nights ago, I was reading my Bible and my eyes hit a verse that stopped me in my tracks.

Jeremiah 2:32
"Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire?

yet my people have forgotten me days without number."

Over and over, I read and re-read that verse and I asked myself, Could I forget my wedding attire? Could I forget what a beautiful day my wedding day was? Or how beautiful I felt? No. Not at all! Yet.... have I ever forgotten, for one moment, about my Lord?

A sobering thought. It is a scary one too. Here, the Bible plainly says that the people of God have forgotten Him. Yet, a bride does not forget what her wedding gown looks like. How can that be???

I have to admit, I was convicted when I read that verse. I have been guilty of forgetting about my Savior. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my wedding at some point. When I look at my handsome husband, sometimes I think back to the smile he had on his face when we shared our first kiss at the alter. When I struggle to zip up my jeans, I sometimes think back to how easy it was to zip up my gown on my wedding day. When I see a wedding show on TV or pass a bridal party in town, I remember my own day. But at the same time, I have gone a day and never remember the great love of Jesus Christ, and the sacrifice He made on my behalf. I have gone a day (even two!) without stopping to thank Him for all that He has done. I have spent a quiet evening alone and never once pause and just bask in His goodness. I have forgotten HIM!!!

That verse in Jeremiah spoke to me and humbled me greatly. Never again do I want to forget about my Master, my Savior. Never again do I want to forget about all that He has done. I challenge you as I challenge myself to REMEMBER our King. Remember His love. Remember His commands. Remember His faithfulness. Remember His might. Remember.....

Do not forget, even for one moment, that you are His! His people, His creation, His bride...