It's Worth It All

Years ago, my family sang a song that said,

It's worth it all to feel a fire that's burning deep within
It's worth it all to know I'm saved and I am free from sin
Just to feel His touch and know that He is coming back again
It's worth it all, it's worth it all

Though that song has little to do with sexual purity, I couldn't help but sing those words yesterday as I was scurrying around the house doing what housewives do.

I was going through my iTunes yesterday after and, to my delight, I found our wedding ceremony loaded onto my computer....so I watched it, reminiscing about that day. During the ceremony, my Dad, who performed the marriage, told my story to the 250+ witnesses gathered there. He spoke of my commitment to purity and all the trials that came with waiting and waiting....and waiting....for 24 years. As he ended my story, he said, "And aren't you glad, Kristen, that you held on?" I was! Just seconds from my first kiss and hours from my wedding night, I was so glad that I had waited for my prince; that I had saved everything for him and him alone. As I watched the video yesterday and heard myself sing "I Do," my song to my groom, I literally wept.

Grant and I have been married for 6 1/2 months and yet it seems like it has been years ago since I sat on my bed writing in my journal about how difficult it was to be patient. It feels like it's been years since I was a single girl, uninterested in any guy, yet hoping and praying that one day I would have a fairytale love of my own. I spent years saying "no" to kisses, trying to avoid the inevitable "Will you go out with me?" pleas. I spent years watching one friend after another get their heart broken, bash their ex behind their back, then hook with up another "perfect" person and....well....rinse and repeat. Years of hearing, "Oh, she's pregnant now. Did you know?" and "She and so-and-so.....you know."

Am I glad those years have gone? Definitely. However, I wouldn't trade those years for anything. They made me stronger, more determined to do things God's way. Yet, looking back, I remember the discouragement that came from time to time. I remember getting on my knees, asking God for forgiveness, and then strength to do things the right way. I remember crying and then hearing my Lord's voice saying, "Come to me. I am your Lover, I am your Prince...and I won't leave. Trust ME."

It was hard. It always is when you do things the Lord's way. Jesus said that His road is narrow. It is filled with hills and valleys, storms and sometimes vicious hurricanes. But oh....how sweet it is to walk with Jesus! To KNOW that you are in His will. Somehow, no matter how dark the sky may be, there is still a peaceful calm and a ray of sunshine when you are walking the narrow road of Christ, with Him at your side, guiding you, leading you, strengthening you, interceding for you....

That's how I feel, looking back. Did I face the storms of laughter, jokes, and condescending looks? Yep. Did I face the loss of friends, the headache of being unable to find a guy who truly wanted to be my friend, no strings attached? I did. Did I wonder if it was really worth it? Did I wonder if all the hard work would pay off? Yes.

*smile* But after 6 1/2 months of wedded bliss with a Godly, handsome, tender, passionate, romantic, strong, faithful husband with whom I will have a little one come April....I have to say, like that old song says, it's worth it all!  

....it's worth it all.