You May NOW Kiss The Bride

My fiance' and I have had a long engagement - it will be 14 months to be exact. It hasn't been without difficulty, but we're only a little less than 3 months away from being husband and wife. WOW!

Several posts back, I blogged on kissing. I'd like to blog a bit more.

When I was 13 years old, I read a book by Joshua Harris entitled I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Up until that day, I had never thought of not dating! The plan was that I would begin playing the dating game when I turned 17. But this book made me think. It gave a whole new approach to "finding your future husband/wife." In the book, Joshua Harris told a story of a couple - Eric and Leslie Ludy. Both had a beautiful story of grace, surrender, trust, and love. Both had made damaging discisions as teenagers. Both had finally found Christ. Both had surrendered their lives to His Will. Then they found each other and they both made a comittment that they would not kiss until their wedding day. And my 13 year old heart went, "awwww!" Viewing that as the epitome of romance, I set out to do that very thing. I made the same comittment and all was well....at first.

When I turned 16 and more and more guys kept popping up in my life, asking me out for a date, it became a little harder to say no. When every friend of mine had a boyfriend, it was hard to stay single. When grown adults kept asking me why I didn't have a boyfriend, I almost decided to get one just to stop all the inquiries. When I was pressured to give up my first kiss by a greasy, smooth-talking, flirty boy, I almost caved. Yet somehow (I know now it was all because of Christ) I hung on. I hung on when my friends teased me and rolled their eyes at my crazy, off-the-wall and old-fashioned descision. I held on when my friends got pregnant and were in danger of STDs. I held on when clusters of girls would stop talking when I walked by, then would start up again when I left. 17, 18, 19, 20, 21....one birthday after another, I kept fighting to remain strong. I kept fighting to trust God with every inch of my heart. He knew I longed to marry. He knew I dreamed of a beautiful love story, a handsome prince, a big family. He knew it all. And even when my friends were married and I was left without a boyfriend, feeling completely disserted, He never forgot about me! I failed Him on countless occations, doubting His faithfulness and wondering if I would be better off writing my own love story my own way. But I learned quick that His way is the ONLY way!

When I was 21, I met my future husband. Of course, I had no idea that the young man I met and swapped e-mails with was my prince charming; who would one day by my groom! But he was. And he slowly won my heart. He slowly showed me that he wasn't like all the other guys. He never asked me for my kiss. He never pressured me into giving what wasn't his to take. And at 23, he asked me to be his bride.

Believe it or not, even after a year-long engagement, Grant and I have not kissed. Of course, I can speak for both of us when I say it has NOT been easy! When you know who you will be spending the rest of your life with, the purity comittments you once made tend to blur a bit the closer you get to your wedding day. It's only been by the grace of our Lord that we have been able to resist the temptation and remain "non-kissable" for lack of a better word. :)

I understand that this has been a long story, but bear with me a little longer. People often ask me "Why haven't you kissed? Why did you make that comittment? What's a kiss going to hurt?"

My answer? I made the comittment because I wanted to save more than just my virginity for my husband. I made that comittment because I wanted to go above and beyond the call of duty. I made the comittment because I wanted to guard myself. A kiss may not "hurt" and I've never said it was wrong to do so. But I have said, and will continue to say, that it is wise to save it. Those I know who have saved their kiss for their wedding day (and yes, I am not the only one. There is quite a few of us) have experienced a love that is off the charts, without having a string of broken relationships and broken hearts behind them. They haven't been "dumped" and they haven't had to distroy their "ex's" reputation with their friends. It's beautiful to wait. It's beautiful to save a kiss. It's a picture of loyalty, faithfulness, comittment, self-control, and love. It's also a picture of purity; the no-compromising, flee-the-appearance-of-evil kind of purity.

It's been hard. I've strumbled in many ways, but oooooooooh, when April 17, 2010 rolls around, I know it will be worth the wait! I can assure you, I doubt I'll be thinking of the struggles, the ridicule, the battle, or the loneliness when I'm standing in my gorgeous white gown, veil lifted, when my Dad says, "Grant, you may now kiss the bride."

.......I'll be thinking, "Why did I ever doubt?!"